Commenters criticized a man for expecting his wife to accommodate his friend's sensory sensitivities while he stayed at their house for a few days, even telling her not to wear her perfume.

The Original Poster (OP), known as u/No-Loss9292, posted about the incident in Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) forum, where it received more than 10,100 upvotes and 2,700 comments. The post can be found here.

Sensory Sensitivity

Experts estimate that up to 90 percent of individuals with autism experience sensory sensitivity or processing disorders. In some cases, these individuals are overly sensitive to sight, smell, taste, touch or sound, while some barely notice any senses.

Other individuals with sensory sensitivities seek out various sensations, such as rocking back and forth or stroking an item with a specific texture.

In some instances, individuals with sensory processing disorders (SPD) may face food aversions and can experience gagging, coughing or choking if the particular food is present.

Studies have also found a link between SPD and individuals with attention deficit disorders.

'AITA?'

In the post titled "AITA for asking my wife to accommodate my autistic friend's needs?" the 34-year-old man said his good friend is on the autism spectrum.

After the air conditioning went out at his friend's apartment, the OP offered to let him stay with him and his wife for a few days.

"He can't sleep unless it's on silk sheets, so I ran out and bought some the day he asked to sleep over," the post read. "I wanted him to be as comfortable as possible–sensory issues aren't simple requests, they're genuine needs."

In addition to his preference for silk sheets, the OP said his friend has a few verbal "stims," or self-stimulating behaviors, and often rocks himself.

"It's not something he shares with a lot of people," the post read. "He got a diagnosis later in life since his parents just thought he was a weird kid while he was growing up. Him confiding in me about this didn't change anything between us, but some of the stories he has shared broke my heart a little and have made me feel more protective of him."

'High Maintenence'

On his second day at the house, the man asked the OP to "fix" a "bothersome" smell in the house that was giving him headaches.

"After some investigation on our part, we figured out it was the perfume my wife was wearing," the post read. "I politely asked my wife if she would go get changed/shower so that my friend could enjoy dinner with us. She not only refused, but she tried kicking my friend out for being high maintenance."

The OP said that while his friend's diagnosis is his to share, his wife is not aware or "clued in on his needs."

"I have refused to budge on any of the issues," the post read.

But the OP's wife insisted that either she or his friend stay in a hotel for the last night.

"My friend is clearly distraught over this and I just can't send him off on his own when he's clearly upset after all that's happened," the post read. "AITA?"

Redditor Reactions

More than 2,700 users commented on the post, many defending the OP's wife for being annoyed by the situation.

"You're making unreasonable requests given that she does not know about his diagnosis," one user commented. "To her he's just a super fussy, high maintenance guest that's making her feel uncomfortable in her own home and you are choosing to prioritize him over her."

"He's entitled not to share. However, he's not entitled to be shielded from the consequences of not sharing," another user commented. "If she's not aware of the situation, how can she be at fault for not accommodating it? YTA. The correct answer here is to tell the friend 'Look, either you gotta tell her what's going [on], or we have to respect her wishes.'"

"Even if she knows why, she shouldn't have to accommodate a guest in her home she doesn't want there and didn't agree to coming there," another user replied.

"You are walking all over your wife. Did you even ask her if she's okay with your friend staying?" another user commented. "Or did you decide for her? And demanding her to shower is just plain hurtful."

"He is a full grown adult with his own apartment. If he needs silk sheets, he can remember to bring them," another user commented. "His needs are real, but they are not an excuse to impose on others unduly. At this point, he is responsible for managing his own needs."

Newsweek reached out to u/no-loss9292 for comment.

Other Viral Posts

In another viral Reddit post, a couple was slammed for suggesting their daughter-in-law seek help for autism when she was suffering from postpartum depression.

One parent was slammed after telling her daughter that she is not capable of becoming a psychologist because she is autistic.

Another person was recently criticized on Reddit for ignoring her husband's severe aversion to bananas because of her pregnancy cravings.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

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